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my name is eve, but you can call me queen.

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your almighty-ness.

You got me hooked and I fell, like heaven in hell.
But you're nothing more than a fling, baby ♥

You were my heaven in hell.

Monday, November 23, 2009/ 03:22

It's that time of the month again... both physically and mentally.

Funny how they both came together. Or they always do? I never really paid attention.

I was listening to Girls Aloud's song "Control of the knife" and it brought back the emotions I had when I was addicted to the song months back.

Do you guys have that feeling too? Like when you listen to a song and it somehow relate to a certain period of time in your life.

It was RC craze period.

Facebook games. FFS, XFS, and shit.

and I think I was kinda emo too, but I can't remember exactly.

You're my heaven in hell.

were. cause it's no longer applicable.

I finally got over you, it only took me two years.

Not really sure how I managed to do it, but I guess it's a relief,

for you and for me.

I still love you baby, just not in that way.

I feel like cutting my nails, they're so fucking long.

My mom kept telling me to cut them.

But I don't know... I like when people stare and went "holy fuck your nails"

"are they real?"

Hahaha I don't know, comments like that amuse me.

The white part of my nails are like reaching 2cm almost.

Sometimes they are a little uncomfortable.

But yeah, maybe I will cut them soon.

Someone pull me out of this black hole.

Yes I'm falling back into it again, and I don't want to...

I want to be normal again.

I'm not doing things I should be doing.

I guess I should feel guilty, and I guess I am...

but I'm not very sure.

Subconsciously I think I'm getting pleasure from all of this.

Running away, like I always do.

I don't think I can handle responsibility.

Expectations, I can't live up to.

Knowing something is within my capacity but not fulfilling it is sometimes frustrating.

I can do so much better.

But I'm not doing it.

Why?

So much expectations. From myself, from you, you, and you.

Fucking hate myself sometimes.

I need to set myself a target, a goal.

Am I ever going to achieve it I don't know.

But somehow, something in my head tells me it's all going to be fine.

somehow.

but how?

Later, later, later.... Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow....

Neverending.

But I find comfort in your words, perhaps mine comfort you too.

And we're both falling.

I want to be normal again.

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