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my name is eve, but you can call me queen.

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your almighty-ness.

You got me hooked and I fell, like heaven in hell.
But you're nothing more than a fling, baby ♥

Pleasuremax.

Monday, November 23, 2009/ 19:12

Baby don't worry.

you are my only,

you won't be lonely,

even if the sky is falling down.

you'll be my only,

no need to worry,

baby are you down down down down down.

So -beep- was asking me which condom he should get,

I told him to get pleasuremax cause really that's the only -good- one I know.

Then he said he couldn't find it and I was like wuh....

I was in class when he said that,

and a while later I went to the convenience store downstairs to get water.

When I walked into the store the condoms were like just RIGHT THERE.

I saw pleasuremax and I instantly thought of -beep-.

I just couldn't resist it. I knew I had to buy it.

So I did, and it's going to be in the mail to Vancouver soon :'D

The cashier was looking at me funny.

I think he was feeling kinda awkward, but I don't know.

He packed all my other things in a bag, but he didn't put the condom in.

Instead he picked it up from the counter and gave it to me.

I was like wuh...? took it and said "just put it in the bag" when putting it inside.

Perhaps they did not have female customers who bought condoms before.

Perhaps all their other customers who bought condoms didn't like to have 'em inside the clear plastic bag and would always just take and put in their purse instead.

But who knows.

It was funny.

Still can't believe I did that.

-Beep- ~~would probably~~ did kill me for writing this, ~~but HAHAHAHAHAHAHA~~ so now he's -beep-.

I love you too homeboy.

comment! comment! comment! 1 obliged.

You were my heaven in hell.

It's that time of the month again... both physically and mentally.

Funny how they both came together. Or they always do? I never really paid attention.

I was listening to Girls Aloud's song "Control of the knife" and it brought back the emotions I had when I was addicted to the song months back.

Do you guys have that feeling too? Like when you listen to a song and it somehow relate to a certain period of time in your life.

It was RC craze period.

Facebook games. FFS, XFS, and shit.

and I think I was kinda emo too, but I can't remember exactly.

You're my heaven in hell.

were. cause it's no longer applicable.

I finally got over you, it only took me two years.

Not really sure how I managed to do it, but I guess it's a relief,

for you and for me.

I still love you baby, just not in that way.

I feel like cutting my nails, they're so fucking long.

My mom kept telling me to cut them.

But I don't know... I like when people stare and went "holy fuck your nails"

"are they real?"

Hahaha I don't know, comments like that amuse me.

The white part of my nails are like reaching 2cm almost.

Sometimes they are a little uncomfortable.

But yeah, maybe I will cut them soon.

Someone pull me out of this black hole.

Yes I'm falling back into it again, and I don't want to...

I want to be normal again.

I'm not doing things I should be doing.

I guess I should feel guilty, and I guess I am...

but I'm not very sure.

Subconsciously I think I'm getting pleasure from all of this.

Running away, like I always do.

I don't think I can handle responsibility.

Expectations, I can't live up to.

Knowing something is within my capacity but not fulfilling it is sometimes frustrating.

I can do so much better.

But I'm not doing it.

Why?

So much expectations. From myself, from you, you, and you.

Fucking hate myself sometimes.

I need to set myself a target, a goal.

Am I ever going to achieve it I don't know.

But somehow, something in my head tells me it's all going to be fine.

somehow.

but how?

Later, later, later.... Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow....

Neverending.

But I find comfort in your words, perhaps mine comfort you too.

And we're both falling.

I want to be normal again.

comment! comment! comment! 1 obliged.

feel like shit.

Sunday, November 08, 2009/ 06:00

Yea, what the title said. I feel like shit now, for some unknown reason. I feel dehydrated, cold, icky all over, and just bleh. Perhaps I didn't drink enough water today, I always feel like shit when I don't drink enough water. Or perhaps that time of the month is coming... orz. I hate it.

My eyes are kinda tired but I don't feel like sleeping. I feel uncomfortable sitting, standing or laying down. I'm listening to a -sorta- depressing song "same script different cast" by Whitney Houston feat. Deborah Cox - it's nice, I'm addicted to it and YES IT'S ON LOOP and has been playing for 738276496735 times (LOL).

I need to catch up with PILES and PILES of assignments. Omg someone just kill me nao. Orz. Went to KL with Jess, Tu, Halie and Fred today. Our drawing 1 lecturer told us about this art supplies store near Chinatown so we decided to go check it out and also buy the material for our finished art project. I was so glad that I actually spent some time to study the map the night before 8D Made it there without getting lost (is proud of self XD;;;;) but forgot to check map how to get back and had to call my cousin for directions. OTL. Nanyang was okay... got LOADS of Windsor and Newton's products, mostly watercolours. And they have a lot of cardboards and easels and stuff. Though I must say I was kinda disappointed overall because it was pretty empty for its' size (it's two storey) and I couldn't find most of the stuff I was looking for there. I did, however, manage to buy art masking fluid there! - expensive shit rm44 T^T

Afterwards we went to Mid Valley cause it was on the way back and also there's another art supplies store there - Art Friend. Art friend is AWESOME. There are so much stuff ranging from craft materials to all sorts of papers to markers. COPIC MARKERS, holy shit why are those so fucking expensive. A box of 72 marker pens cost RM1k + ... made me go QQ. I want them so bad!!!! I ended up buying a block of Daler Rowney tinted pastel paper in assorted neutral colors and a watercolor block (300gsm 8D) also Daler Rowney. Plus a pack of tortillions. I couldn't find Faber Castell's PITT pastel pencils there too, though :[ wadahiao. Can't find those anywhere, not in Nanyang not in Art friends and not even in the Faber Castell store in Sunway.

So in conclusion, I spend more than 130 bucks today on some papers, a bottle of masking fluid and a few tortillions. Amazing.

Sent Tu and Fred home afterwards and sent Halie to Summit Hotel cause her dad came here. Then me + Jess met Lawrence for dinner in Yuen 8D SUCH A WASTE THOUGH. We shouldn't eat steamboat buffet anymore. Me and Lawrence don't eat seafood and Jess says she doesn't feel comfy eating using her hands in public so she didn't take any of those crabs/prawns etc so we paid 20 per pax for cheap steamboat food LOLOL. But overall it was nice :D Jess is too funny; me and Lawrence totally died laughing. No shit we were literally crying LOL. Came home logged on audi and I was just in time for tourny - with 45 seconds left 8D AND THEN GOT DC-ED FIRST ROUND. Was too tired to get pissed at whichever loser who did that and totally knocked out on bed until 1.30am. Browsed facebook and deviantart for god knows how long and here I am blogging at 6.37am, ah-may-zing.

I seriously need to catch up with my assignments.

SELF REMINDER:

- Face/head tracing for CGD by Monday.

- Candy box packaging by Monday.

- Talk to Ali and Chang Haw - arrange a time to discuss about the group presentation - finish draft #1 by Tuesday.

- 2 still life sketch by Tuesday. (plus last week's OTL)

- Old man + 1 portraits and 10 little heads by Wednesday. SKETCHBOOK SKETCHBOOK.

- Design. OH DESIGN. Lord have mercy.

- DON'T BE LATE FOR HISTORY OF ART CLASS ON THURSDAY.

- History of Art NOTEBOOK start on it bitch.

Kill me nao.